Apoxalypse Now

Chickenpox. I love the smell of Calamine Lotion in the morning

One of the special little gifts that children give you is their ability to come home with every germ and bug going.

Every time I go to nursery, the first thing I see on the door is new warning notice around the latest nasty that is ripping through the mini-me’s and causing temperatures and work diary stress levels to shoot up.

We’re very fortunate in that the Duke on the main has been pretty good; he basically isn’t a sickie type kid. I know a certain level of poorliness is to be expected and if anything kids need to get ill in order to build their immune systems, but we seem to have been coming out so far so unpuked.

So when he came home a couple of weeks ago with a raging fever and tell-tale spots started appearing all down his back we knew the Chickenpox or ‘Chickenspots’ as he christened them had come to visit.

A course of quarantine, Piriton and more Calamine that you can shake a scabby stick at seemed to keep the worst of it at bay. Bless him he didn’t really even want to scratch them;  after three or four days I thought we had gone through the worst of it pretty unscathed. How wrong I was.

The Royal College of GPs says that in the main it’s children aged two to four that are susceptible. Chickenpox can be more than a harmless childhood illness especially in adulthood, it can,  for example have serious implications, particularly for pregnant women and good looking dads.

For the last couple of weeks, I felt crappy, like I had a bug that I couldn’t shift. Hot and shaky and a loss of appetite basically had the making of a case of man flu so I thought. So like a brave boy I soldiered on, the fact that I had to go straight to bed at six o’clock on two days should have told me something was really up but I ignored it.

I can home from work on last Monday feeling terrible, I had a temperature of 39 and was shivering so I wrapped up in a couple of duvets and tried to sweat it out. I woke in the morning went to the shower and looked in the mirror and saw a rash of spots, surely I couldn’t have Chickenpox, I must have had in as a child?

A trip to the clinic in Brighton  confirmed that I was special. 9 out of 10 people have had it as a child, obviously I hadn’t and I was a special one!  The nurse actually told me she could see them popping out while we spoke (Yuck!).


Keep Away From The Lergy

Keep Away From The Lergy


Everyone at work was under the same impression ‘You didn’t have it as a kid?‘ no, I hadn’t it seems. And ‘You know its worst for adults don’t you?’

Straight to Boots collecting a ton of Calamine, Piratine and some pills called Aciclovir the size of Lockets and then to bed to sleep and shiver like a madman.

When I managed to get out a bed later, my face felt like it was on fire, looking in the mirror I nearly fainted. What was facing me wasn’t my normal handsome features, but something more akin to that of John Merrick’s, Freddy Kruger’s and Adrian Mole’s love child. My face, chest, back, and legs had erupted in a sea of angry red puss heavy boils.

Chickenpox Day One

Chickenpox Day One

Over the next 6 days, I sweated and shivered my way through the first four series of Grange Hill, nearly a stone (Needed, but I can think on my nicer ways to lose weight) and a wealth of Persil after having to change bedding twice a day at one point because it was so wet and sporting several layers of flaky skin.

ChickenPox on Man's Back

Dot To Dot ‘Can You See What It Is Yet?’

I can confirm Chickenpox is worse for adults, I can’t remember a time when I have felt so ill in a long time.

ChickenPox on man's face

Scabby Or What?


Chickenpox Scars on Face

A Slight Improvement


Thankfully it doesn’t seem to have left any lasting scars, even though I was secretly rubbing up and down doorways like a pervert to soothe the never ending itchiness.

Here in no particular order are my ‘Top Five Worse Places To Get Chickenpox’

  • Armpit
  • Small of your back
  • Left nut
  • Scalp
  • Inside of your lip

Fortunately, it seems now like I am over the worst of it, just a few more itchy scabs to heal over.’I remember when I told Duke ‘ Look you’ve given Daddy your Chickenspots‘ He replied ‘ I know, that’s funny’.  With a sharply developing sense of schadenfreude like that, there is no doubt he is definitely my child…

You wait, little boy revenge will be mine :)…

What’s the nastiest gift your little cherub has given you?






So Enough About Me..

“I get up when I want, except on Wednesdays when I get rudely awaken by the dustman”. That’s not actually true; our dustman comes on Mondays. My day usually starts with a bang, or a knee in the nuts, as my beautiful bouncing 3-year-old boy decides it’s my head/nuts that he should be bouncing on. He has found this is a very effective way of announcing a new day has dawned and that everyone within a five-mile radius should get up.

I catch the half seven bus into work. Depending on traffic, this takes anything from 40 minutes to 1:30hr on the bus. People ask why I don’t just get the train. Well for one, it’s half the price. Two, there’s hardly any grumpy commuters or screaming school kids on the bus. Three, I can always get a seat. Four, I get to travel along the coast road past some of the most beautiful scenery I have ever seen. Five, it’s a great place for a dad snooze.

Sleep is only for the innocent..

Sleep is only for the innocent..

My office is two minutes from the sea in the heart of Brighton Lanes. It’s full of screens buzzing with rows of data, and desks surrounded by beanbags, table football and packets of cereal.

For five days a week I get to hang out with lots of trendy young things with beards, tattoos and tight jeans, using technical jargon like OPR’s, BAU and EDM. As a 40-year-old slightly receding, mid-life crisis having, dyslexic, dyspraxic, hat wearing Radio 2 listener; I feel right at home.

At 6 o’clock it’s back to Worthing, where you’ll find me trying to figure out the rules to ‘Kung Fu Panda Helicopter Pirates’ or whatever game my son has dreamt up that day.

I then sympathise as my social worker wife tells me how another budget has been slashed. The children most at risk get dumped on, and people that care most about them are given more and more caseloads. In the back of their minds thinking one slip up and they will be front page of a Daily Mail hate campaign.

In between all of this I listen to old school rap, write my blog and drink tea. Mostly I just try to be a good husband, brother, son, uncle and friend to some of the nicest and somewhat strangest creatures on God’s green and pleasant earth.

Anyway enough about me, what do you get up to?

Flash, Bang, Wallop What A Night Out..

GrandMaster Flash Wakes Up Worthing.

“So yeah this hip-hoppy thing, a bit of a flash in the pan type fad is it?” said millions of parents in the early 80’s.

So, if you imagine your average Sunday night in Worthing, you wouldn’t think of 800 people heading for the Pavilion to dance their sweaty socks off to one of the founding fathers of Hip-Hop some 40 years later, would you eh? – But that’s exactly what happened a couple of weeks ago.

Babysitters coined it in, chaps and ladies got on their good foot and got down to a supremely brilliant mixed up musical medley in the beautiful surrounding of Worthing Pier. But it wasn’t just an old timer’s night out, these hip young cats rocked up ready to rave as well.

Musical Legend Terry Slade Pops By To Show Us The Meaning Of Old School

Musical Legend Terry Slade Pops By To Show Us The Meaning Of Old School

The team at atom, they’re the fellas that have put on the Charlatans a couple of months ago down here to a rapturous level of support?  Did it again by giving the people what they want. Namely a great night out, great acts, strict no idiots allowed policy and an f”ckititmightbemondaytomorrowbutwhocarestonightletsdance mentality that has been sorely missing in Worthing for a long time.

I am being blasé about it because I booked the next day off work when I heard this was happening. I knew how much my feet would ache after all the boogying I intended to do and I was right to do so.

Grandmaster Flash, DJ Format & Susan’s Leg Policy supplied sets that had faces smiling, the bar tills ringing and the dancefloor springing.

L-R : DJ Format, Flash & SLP

L-R : DJ Format, Flash & SLP

I was used to these kinds of nights when I lived in Brighton. But being in Worthing it was so less pretentious.  All around me was a sea of happy faces, young & old shimmied and shook rather than trying to look cool and stroke their hipster beards.

Worthing Pavillion Go Wild

Worthing Pavillion Goes Wild

The fact that people were a bit in awe, thinking –‘Flash in Worthing, really?‘ made for a very special feeling and another level of proof that if I needed any that I was right to move here in the first place.

Of course you are never going to please all the people – there were mumbles about Flash not doing a more Hip-Hop when in fact he played a ‘wedding’ set with the Bee-Gees, Soul 2 Soul and 80’s classics.

But for me it worked, this was about Hip- Hop in the sense of peace, unity, love and having fun.  More to the point, if you think you can do better, please do.  If you can’t, then please do us all a favour and shut the fudge up. And I had Flash DJ’ing at my wedding, so I know just how good he is..:)

GrandMaster Flash DJ's At Wedding Shocker

GrandMaster Flash DJ’s At Wedding Shocker

Flash knew how to rock a crowd, imagine how many thousands of time he had done that very thing and I for a time was completely and utterly lost in the music. I left the event soaked in sweat, but still buzzing ready to continue. Well, I was out; I might as well be out-out.

Sunday nights in Worthing aren’t exact flush with places to go but fortunately the Wandering Goose made for the perfect setting to have a couple of beers, chatting with new friends about what we had just witnessed and a ‘Sod it’ who wants another drink?’ whilst the summer air wafted all around us.  A perfect end to a great night.

Hands up if you love Flash!

A video posted by DBTHSocialPR (@dbthsocialpr) on


I know the team at atom have a few more nights already planned in including 10cc, Ocean Colour Scene, The James Taylor Quartet and The Fun Loving Criminals.

I canny wait to get my dance-card marked to those feasts of funk. Be there or be somewhere else..