Mr Tumble.
Mr Tumble.

“The Top Ten Things that Fashionable Dads Actually want for Christmas” (Part One)

Yes, it’s nearly that time of year again – tis nearly the season to get so many text alert bleeps about being over your overdraft’s overdraft that it sounds like you’re back in a rave somewhere near the M25, in the second summer of love.

Yes, it’s that time of year where the question is asked, “So what do you want for Christmas?” – You really want to know? Well, I don’t want socks, D.I.Y. tools, or anyone to buy me clothes that I will never wear and am too ashamed to go back to the shops for a refund!!

Now I know this makes me sound ungrateful – I’m really not – I just don’t like people spending money on stuff I don’t want or they ‘think’ I might like. I’d rather they invest their hard earned in something like . . . well I don’t know, I am useless at coming up with answers. The stuff I really want to ask for I can’t because people will look at me really strangely.

So, to save any unnecessary blushes and uncomfortable silences I’ve come up with this:

Over the next 10 days or so I will be posting “The Top Ten Things that Fashionable Dads Actually want for Christmas”. Not that I am a ‘fashionable’ dad as such – I’m not even that sure on what one actually is.  Hopefully I will be seen as a ‘coolish dad’ – the type whose dress sense/personal hygiene etc. wont mortally embarrass Duke in his teenage years.

However, I think my habits of publicly singing & dancing at inopportune times have got Duke’s embarrassment covered. That’s a habit picked up from my lovely dad who on a Saturday, in the local Sainsbury’s, would serenade the young females cashiers, much to his amusement and my prepubescent horror.

Without further ado – here, in no particular order, is my top ten of things we as dads actually want from Santa this year.

“The Top Ten Things that Fashionable Dads Actually want for Christmas”. Part 1

On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me: Mr effing Tumble, five minutes, a nail studded baseball bat, a locked room, no witnesses, a rock solid alibi, and the team of Waking The Dead to help tidy up the mess – Those that know, know . . .

Mr Tumble.

Mr Tumble.

Come back tomorrow for Part 2.

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Editor | Journalist | Part-Time Revolutionary.

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