Toddler meltdowns
You Have No Idea Just How Loud I Can Scream.

I Hate You So Much, Right Now.

Toddler Meltdowns Are Made Of This.

Raising a toddler as we all know, comes with a unique set of challenges. One set of challenges I am coming to terms with at the moment is the realisation that I living a four-year-old with the negotiation skills of Alistair Campbell and a sense of tenacity that would put Lance Armstrong’s drug-testers to shame.

During a recent ‘Not Going To Bed’ toddler meltdown the following conversation occurred.

Picture the scene, Me, Mrs Hype and The Duke on the bed.

  • MUUUUUUUUUMMY, DADDY IS A MEANY!
  • MUUUUUUUUUMMY, DADDY IS A MEANY!
  • MUUUUUUUUUMMY, DADDY IS A MEANY!
  • MUUUUUUUUUMMY, DADDY IS A MEANY!
  • ‘Daddy isn’t a meany, my love – Why do you say that?’
  • ‘He promised that I could have my sweeties.’
  • ‘Well it is bedtime and it’s too late for sweeties now’
  • ‘NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!’
  • He is a meany, he promised.
  • ‘Well yes, I did promise, but that was four hours ago when we were walking back from school.’
  • ‘NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO’.
  • ‘I popped them in my pocket and thought we could share them later’.
  • ‘NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO’.
  • ‘NO. NO . NO, I must have them now’.
  • ‘No, let’s wait until tomorrow’.
  • ‘NO. NO. NO, I must have them now’.
  • NOOOOOOOOOOOOO tomorrow is too late, they will go mouldy in daddy’s pocket’.
  • (Stifle laughter) ‘No, they will be fine’.
  • ‘NOOOOOO, THEY WILL GO MOULDY and then I won’t be able to have them’.
  • ‘Well look, if they do go mouldy I will buy you another packet, ok?’.
  • ‘NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, NNNNNNNNNOOOO You are a meany’….
Toddler Meltdowns

You Have No Idea Just How Loud I Can Scream.

I was supposed to have at least a ten-year grace period to wait before my child exclaims loudly to anyone in a forty miles radius that he hates me.

How to Stop Toddler Meltdowns?

This obviously is not the case, so I am going to have a try at this during future toddler meltdowns.

 

 

Ever tried reverse psychology on a manic toddler in full meltdown mode?

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Editor | Journalist | Part-Time Revolutionary.

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1 Response

  1. 2nd October 2017

    […] My son is very much part of my business. The brand and logo are based on him, and he features in a lot of my stories. […]

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