The Hand That TotRocks The Cradle, Is The Hand That Rules Our World.
Assuming you’ve not been under a big chauvinist rock for the last few weeks, you’ll have seen and no doubt reflected on the date marking one hundred years since (some) women were awarded the right to vote.
“The quest for women’s advance is always met with resistance and a backlash,” with a warning that “even 100 years later we can’t stop. The job is not yet done.” wrote Harriet Harman, the longest-serving female MP in history.
With this in mind and the fact that this month marks the day where we celebrate those whose ‘hands rock that cradle and rule the world’, I felt it only right and proper that we turn over this months ‘Dadifesto’ over to all things mum-related.
With my mum ‘fanboy’ hat on, I asked some of my trusted school-run buddies on what they actually wanted as a pressie this Mother’s Day. You’d be surprised at what these charming ladies came up with. Flowers, home-made cards, and breakfast in bed don’t get a look-in.
So, here’s to all the TotRockin’ mumma’s out there, big up ya’selves.
Four Things Mums Actually Want This Mother’s Day!
1) A self-cleaning kid’s bedroom. One where Nerf bullets, the contents of school book bags and chewed up biscuits don’t clash like a punch-up in an episode of ‘Peaky Blinders’.
2) Calorie-free Gin and Chocolate on tap. #Protip if any of you budding inventors come-up with a way to produce either of these things, you’d be on easy street financially and may possibly to also be awarded the Nobel prize for Peace.
I asked one friend, who shall remain nameless, for reasons that shall soon become obvious, and she came up with the absolute beauty.
3) “I want one plane ride a year to a warm place where there is a quiet beach, a deckchair with my name on it and a selection of all the great books I haven’t got around to reading yet. I want 4 days to myself in the said deckchair, not talking to a single soul. I want to read, stare at the sea. Eat very tasty vegetarian food (and not have small people moaning or a husband saying he will die if he doesn’t consume his own weight in animal carcass). This would be followed by the most delicious chocolate on the planet (that I will actually have the time to enjoy, as opposed to just shoving in my mouth to give my legs an extra 5 minutes on the go). Walk when I want to, run when I want to, sleep when I want to. I will then return on said plane and look forward to next year’s trip”
4) A meal that everyone in the family enjoys equally. Without there being an EU excess of chicken nugget mountain left behind and another rehashing of the “some people aren’t lucky enough to have chicken nuggets” speech.
So there you go, good luck trying to find any of these on the high-street this Mother’s Day…
If I can indulge myself a tad and abuse my position, I’d like to say a special thank you to the lovely lady that hangs out at my house, puts up with me and my son, and our distinctly boyish sense of humour, and is quite possibly the most amazing mother a boy could have. Cheers Sal, we love ya.xxx