The Nocturnal Dad | Episode 2 – Coffee & TV

It’s still happening. He’s still giving me rib tinnitus. I’m still curled up in the southern corner of the bed like an exhausted, old shivering dog soon to be compassionately put down to rest by the vet for his own good. As I lay staring at the ceiling, I half-lucidly see myself looking back down from above but it is not me curled up pathetically as the Rib Kicker lays spread eagled snoring like a weasel next to my wife, booting me as he sleeps. Instead of me, it is Phil the weatherman lying there and in my ears are Sonny and Cher singing the chorus to ‘I Got You Babe’. Over and over again.

This is every morning of my life at the moment #Groundhog Day 2018. If I still had my Sharp electronic alarm clock (Christmas 1992) I would smash it repeatedly into small pieces, just like poor Phil.



But this on-going 4:00 am start is a good thing. A very good thing! It is the calm before the storm when they will again awake and create terrible havoc on us shattered souls. This new me-time is the springboard to my new purpose in life – to fulfil my dream of writing something that someone else, somewhere might actually read.

Having given up coffee for a couple of months in the new year, until now I have been healthily drinking green tea instead. My wife was the instigator. She has an incredible skill of being able to change my diet, lifestyle, budget plan and social life without my even realising it before it has happened.

The green tea thing is a small but good example of this. It has taken me almost two months and these 4:00 am starts to realise that it tastes like muddy piss water and is absolutely no good for firing up the writer’s mind. So it’s gone and the Columbian is back on the hob. I’m ready to roll.



The thing is, I have a list of cool stuff I want to write about and only a finite word count left with which to write it; such things as my pre-screening worries regarding the new Ready Player One movie, my growing guilt around calling myself a music lover but subscribing to Spotify despite their blatant ripping off of artists, and how I think kids community sites such as are the shining lights amongst the data-stealing corporate soul suckers like Facebook and Instagram (plenty more self-guilt on that score too).

And then there is my new radio show on that starts next month to talk about. And sh*t.

Now that will all have to wait until next time because I’m at my word limit and the Rib Kicker is starting to scream down the stairs at me for his morning hit of ‘mulk, mulk, mulk’ as my wife, also exhausted, cowers hiding under the duvet.

I now realise that this is perhaps the only downside to combining coffee and writing – the page is full and time is up before you’ve created anything of real purpose. I’m going to switch off, zone out and refocus by watching some TV instead. Yes, more coffee and TV should do the trick. Or more coffee and Paw Patrol, to be precise. I’ll get to the good stuff next time.


Nocturnal Dad


Keep this frequency clear for The Nocturnal Dad – Episode 3. Read all of our anonymous hero’s work on the Nocturnal Dad page.

All images Dominic Murray @no_subs_blog

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