Grief Without Death.
#MENTALk discusses something that affects 850,000 people in the UK as well as countless friends and family members. How do you cope with losing someone, especially when they are still alive?
Of course, I have experienced grief. I don’t think anyone can get to 43 years old and not have experienced it in one way or other. Or at least I thought I had.
However, I have lost my dad before he dies. He is the man I adore, look up to and follow and the man I wanted to be as a child. But now he is confused, lost and unsure. He is a frail part of his own self.
I should explain, five years ago he was diagnosed with dementia and as time went past and life went on this developed and late last year we had to make the heart-wrenching decision that full-time care was the best route for his own wellbeing and happiness.
This hasn’t only affected me, In turn, my mother becomes lost and entwined in her own emotion. Someone who wants her lover, soulmate and life back, whilst not coping with the new person she has now found herself with, also my kids, the grandchildren. They have lost their grandad, no more games of Uno, no more walks in the park. No more grumpy grandad!
Yes, we can and do visit regularly, yes he is still there to talk to. Sometimes he even recognises us, sometimes he doesn’t, sometimes I’m his brother or his friend from many years ago. But never is he the father I fondly remember.
No one can change a life, no one should either. But that doesn’t make it easier………. losing someone and grieving for some isn’t all about death.